Kristie LaBerge, Fall 2009
I walk into my Birch apartment and am immediately assaulted by the red splattered all over the walls. My fingers release. The Target bags slam and loose their canned goods. Silence. I tiptoe through the still air and over the tile stained with red splotches. My heart beating frantically, I spot my roommate Jess. Her hands, shirt, and mouth are all reddened with the familiar burgundy formula. My eyes dart around the room for more clues. A knife, a broken plate and… wait a minute. Is this her demanding, unrelenting, unsatisfying—no, not her boyfriend—pomegranate?
The image I saw was not comparable to the glorious pom splattered everywhere-as cover spreads. Magazines claim that poms are filled with “gorgeous ruby red kernels” (Sanjeev, par.1). Don’t be deceived; these rubies are actually poisonous sacks filled with permanent venom. The dye will stain hands for days, maybe even weeks. And Clothes? Not even with Shout as its captain will your AE Tiny-Tee stand a chance against the unforgiving pigment.
The eater—or shall I say, warrior—first enters a pomegranate world by sawing through the fruit’s thick hide. And because erected pith barriers separate between each village of seeds, she has no choice but to divide and conquer. She will now have to pry out each individually-flesh-encapsulated seed. The battle for a teensy taste rages. Her bloodstained fingers throb. When she does manage to sample the flesh, whitened membrane also enters into her mouth undercover. Disgusted, but determined, she presses on.
But, just what is it that she is pressing on to? Be ye not fooled. There is no pot of gold at the end of this blackened rainbow. After all of her undivided attention, time and pain, the soldier is only left with a mere morsel of gratification. She nearly sacrificed her two hands for this fruit, and all it gives in return are teased tastes of its tart flavor. At least after you’ve labored over a pineapple, your struggles are forgotten when you reap your reward and indulge in the juicy chunks of the sun-drenched meat. A pomegranate, however, offers no such satisfaction.
Aside from its unrewarding results, pomegranate is a fruit around which you will have to pencil your schedule. Unlike the accomodating grape, plum, or banana, you cannot take the pomegranate with you. You cannot eat it during an eight A-M’er to distract the pain of your professor’s piercing voice. You cannot eat it on your way to yoga, or during your lunch-break at work. No, this fruit will not slip into your fast-paced life unnoticed; the unyielding pomegranate demands an isolated time and space just for itself. So. The question remains, will you still fall into its seductive trap?
“I can’t help it,” you whine. Well, there is still hope. As I write, the market is thriving on heart-broken romantics like you. Sixty-four year old pomegranate-orchid owner, Jim Simonian reminds us that pomegranate has recently found it’s fame in products. “There wasn’t always pomegranate lip gloss or pomegranate-mango body wash,” explains Simonian (Diana, par.9). Though your pomegranate would have you believe that you cannot live without him, there are actually spas full of pomegranate treatments, and drinks drenched with it’s tangy taste and anti-aging antioxidants–minus the hassle.
So, lover of pomegranate, save yourself the agony, ditch the fruit and opt for some pom products. Sip some pomegranate tea, or pamper yourself with a pomegranate facial. But–and I truly hope not–If your unrequited love for the thick-skinned, pain-inflicting fruit remains undying… armor up, down a Rockstar, and be prepared to labor the “labor of love.” Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
Works Cited
Diana Marcum The Fresno Bee, Calif. “Valley tries to cash in on popularity of pomegranates.” McClatchy – Tribune Business News. 15 Nov 2008. eLibrary. Proquest CSA. 13 Apr 2009< “http://elibrary.bigchalk.com” http:// elibrary.bigchalk.com>. Sanjeev Kapoor Hindustan
Times, New Delhi. “Gimme red.” McClatchy – Tribune Business News. 10 Feb 2009. eLibrary. Proquest CSA. 13 Apr 2009< “http://elibrary.bigchalk.com” http://elibrary.bigchalk.com>.